Nov 19, 2009

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons...
but how much longer can I lie about my keenness for caffeine?
and how much longer can I lay around waiting,
waiting to take a whiff of that bittersweet aroma?
cause i've always been about condensed milk, cream, sugar...
and it's in this boiling coffee pot that I linger
Till human voices wake me, and I drown.

Caí

caigo

hmm...so it looks as though i am quite the fickle little girl. looks aren't always deceiving. i won't try to deny it. la donna mobile

Got

zpv xjmm bmxbzt cf mpwfe cz nf

???

Try to make me go to rehab

i said no no no


falling into relapse.
whatevs!

Lucy Ni

she is one of the most beautiful things in my life.

On the streets

I have become my own IRS. I have ironically taken away everything that I own by giving myself space. I have lost my home.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y33eiPwFOPk
1 month down

Sleep Fillings for Empty Feelings

everything is going perfectly- it must be. my schedule is beautiful, grades are acceptable, friends are beautiful, i can do whatever i want.






i can't seem to wake up anymore.







she &*@#3$ you so

Banksy

find him on campus. abcdefuck

Hyphy Trax for a Real Anhimal

absolutely love it. November 12-13 2010 = boooommmbbbs! :) To a thug, from a thug. Thugz4Lyfe ~//~

still on my brain

what can you really tell from 2 weeks apart? what about a month? two and a half? michael was right...i have my guard up. i don't want to even think that there is the slightest possibility that i have feelings for someone. so hypothetically speaking, if i were to meet an amazing person who hypothetically has real good hypothetical potential to melt my antarctic heart, i think i would run. i wish you were a stranger i could disengage

i feel a way of something beyond them
i don't see what i can feel
if vision is the only validation
then most of my life isn't real

Airport Taxi Reception*

I left my mind in the airport
My thoughts in a taxi
My heart in reception

ive been dying to know how you are

Hydrodaktulopsychicharmonica*

water, glass, rub, sound, wine bottles, music, soul, love

Bewshit bewshit bewshit*

The Cycle of (fill in blank)

skepticism
vulnerability
realization
faith
disillusionment
despise
skepticism
etc.

Living On the Hill..*

every time the internet switches to UCLA_SECURE_RES by itself..

"GIVE ME INTERNET OR GIVE ME DEATH!"

The Same Hollaween Face*

thanks heidi cheon for painting me!weird fishes

bobo*

i've said it before and i'll say it again. (bad) timing is everything

Kibby*

change of scenery




...hahaha thanks for the title

lost at sea-*
my heart beat was growing weak,
hoping you'd hear my plea

Getting Ready for Halloweeeeeeen*

They should make a lip gloss for this*

Metallic Kiss

Waste*

the trash cans around school are separated by waste with food and everything else. now how do i sort all this shit in my head? though i like it i like it i like it a lot

Messy messy*

don't know, never knew. so now i'm a "lifeless psychopath"

*

me + strangers - lights + music ^ booze power = stay away

Deep Dining at Covel*

1) define finding yourself
2) mindset can destroy a relationship
3) friends = love never existed
4) where will you be in 10 years
5) to hold on or let go

*

"when you find someone that makes you happy, that's great. but if you want to make that someone happy too, great has the potential to be beautiful."
-lucy ni

words of wisdom. but for me, no thanks and not happening.

the priest said "we must be single minded". i could only understand that as being close minded. no? ugh..*

hjl,tihymmf*

cool

i prefer sausage to taco*

Tonight*

went back to your place. no one was home. talked to enzo through the window. 88.7, windows down, drove home. pack up, move on, peace out.

okay*

today someone asked me if i was really okay.

i'd say so. what does my face say?
"i forgot to use my el pollo loco coupon that expires today"

g.s.d.*

i havent seen our drafts to each other in a long time. woooowwwww, we made it through some crazy sh*t. haha imy

baila baila*

in deep end dance. white hawk wants to fly so this phoenix will too :) mariah carey is preachin it right now with always be my baby. nothings changed inside. im not sayin we'll return to this nest but you get the picture..

My Name Is*

ex. x. equis. a kiss, and we vanished. it's weird hearing it from you even though i spit it like it was nothing before. take the picture down, tuck it away in your drawer- i know it's still in our hearts. maybe only for now..and it's ok. a lot of things that we've both done have been completely unfair. but for the first time i really see that i've done worse damage. i wanted this portion of my life to be my selfish years. somehow i think us growing separately will only teach me how to be selfless and mature.

everything happens for a reason.
everything is a lesson.
never make anyone your everything because once they're gone you have nothing.
mind is everything.
everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted

a glimpse into my jumbled brain. a bunch of proverbs, maxims, and aphorisms that i've picked up but haven't learned to use correctly. then i wonder why i even thought that it was necessary to correlate every single experience i have with a dumb saying in the first place. at least a saying that i didn't come up with. this is my life. how f*cking scary.

which means i have to change my ultimate goal: the ability to make oneself happy without relying on outside influences

the chain- ingrid michaelson

Ho Boi*

i really miss that ocean breeze car freshener. even how hot and sticky my skin would get despite the shade from a tree. the furry seats. thumpthump. thumpthump. breathe, girl..

How are you?*

"i doubt that you'll ever come back around
gettin so used to silence its becoming loud"
-SK

anh les miserable*

i just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. but im going to start working on my list of things to work on

ms*

i trust in the purity and the strength of it all- even in the ridiculous notion that it was somehow reincarnated from another time. then why do i feel like i got left behind.. i'm so whack. so so whack. to be frank...i dont know how to be frank anymore. i just hope i can be as dgaf as you are.

v
v
v
v
v
v
v

*

if there was a girl who could make me more lesbian than i already am, it'd be kelly rosenthal.

Bbm Gb Db Ab*

im racing the earth. what i hear no one else has to know

panhda express*

my green knitting needles looked like bamboo. and yes, knitting is once again a favorite past time activity of mine!

Day One*

New York I Love You, 50 First Dates, Chloe, and Law Abiding Citizen to set the sun, Hidden Beach Recordings + rainymood.com to tuck me in. This shit sucks

"when from sea dont try n send a bottle" ...

mmmmmm*

hits the spot. plus, i miss this.

I crack the whip, shapeshifting trick, the past again*

It'd be nice to sync my heart with my brain once in a while without getting my liver mixed up in the process. This damn constant compromise between thinking and breathing...

*

RTB 2010!!*

pics by shonberry

Tempted*

Lucywood...*

...somewhere i would call home forever n ever

preach, india*

i am not my hair
i am not this skin
i am the soul that lives within


...prepping for my next breakout slash crazy haircut

SHOW ME YOUR TEETH*

"i look out at you all and its like im looking at a disco ball....like a bunch of little mirrors."

oh my gaga

Absurd Le*

so awk. i am a case for professor layton.

patient #891257*

"when you go home to america, can you find my dad for me? his name is thanh minh long. thanh minh long. remember that."

The Many Faces..*

it was just a dream. just a dream..

it was this big!

but i AM a girl..

let me tell you something

HA! lewzer

as if. i only wear italian.

if you put one finger on my fries..

bitch said what!?

i hate coming home from vacation and forgetting which damn toothbrush is mine! oh well. mi cepilla es su cepilla.

raphael saadiq*

im comin home to you
wear something see through
so i can see your heart

anagrams anagrams anhagrams*

all i want is the best for our lives my dear

and you know my wishes are sincere

whats to say for the days i cannot bare

cause we felt true

rweoaslhdn

as claire would say...*

rubbish bin = trash can
lollies = candy
petrol = gas
icy poles = ice blocks
thongs = flip flops
sunnies = shades
mossy = mosquito
speaking of, i need my itchy fairy for these 15 mossy bites. B)

jhaloo, goodbye*

mrs. pringles was oversalted. :{o heavy chest, and i know its from inside cause my tits be smalls.

oh, didn't you get the memo too?*

HEY FELLAS, LET'S ALL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF NAI. SHE DOESNT SPEAK VIETNAMESE LIKE WE DO AND SHE'S NOT NERDY AT ALL SO SHE MUST BE DUMB AND WONT DO ANYTHING! PLUS LOOK AT HER TRASHY CLOTHES. SHE'S JUST ASKING FOR IT

my flavor's a little plain*

(bad) timing is everything

no way to exprain this*

i come home to my grandma's house from my last day at the hospital and my pictures folder is open. as im going through these pictures for the millionth time, i feel totally disconnected from that chick in there. yeah, that's supposed to be me, but it wasnt. it isnt. im fuckin trippin out right now.

scared*

of what will become of everyone. of this country, of all these kids, and of this crybaby dude named Me.

Pave*

im just a little asian girl in a sea of powder blue and gold, but i want sooo bad to do something bruin-like. something never before seen and amazing. i want to knock your socks, thongs, and silk boxers off

cranberries*

Mr. Hunter*

dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less
dont settle for less

.

Speak No Feeling?*

but i do care, and more than a bit.

the word is shiT*

the best thing that could have happened to me and i just...dlfiweokxjfljwe not asking for anything because you're right. flippy floppy opposites. waited for me to change, and i knew all along what needed to be done but i didn't. why?? MAYBE i'm still stuck on the past, and who knows why i can't let go.



"for now"

Cocorosie*

And he was born with the same blue eyes
Crystal ships dripping with ice, diamonds coruscate

I don't mean to close the door
But for the record my heart is sore
You blew through me like bullet holes
Left stains on my sheets and stains on my soul
You left me broke down begging for change
Had to catch a ride with a man who's deranged
He had your hands and my father's face
Another western vampire
Different time same place
I had dreams that brings me sadness
Rain much deeper than a river
Sorrow flow through me
Tiny waves of shivers
Corny movies make me reminisce
They break me down easy on this generic love shit
First kiss frog and princess

I'm a shake you off though
Get up on that horse and
Ride into the sunset
Look back with no remorse

with half of my heart*

when the seams of my pants start to imprint into my thighs, it's time to stop eating. this is all very reminiscent of that chapter in a portrait of the artist as a young man when stephen wants to eat everything. have i fallen into emotional gluttony?

Find Yourself

Finny